The review that isn't shy!
Halloween Edition,
You've Been Warned
Mommy meltdowns. Why are these not
talked about more! Is it the fear of being shamed? Of feeling like
less of a mother? We've all been there. I know I have. I have lucked
out the public meltdowns (I am the master of avoidance). But I have
become a bumbling, shaking crying mess at home. Then by the time nap
time comes around I find my peace. Then I look back and I am like,
“Whats the big deal, it's fine!” Then rinse and repeat. Toddler
are just short drunks stumbling, drooling, babbling, and they just
want to pick a fight, with you. You're just the innocent by standard
trying to have a drink in peace. Then along comes a drunk midget
who(unknowing to you) grabs your phone. Then proceeds's to introduce
it to either the dog bowl, toilet, trash can, or buys hundreds of
dollars in gems on Bakery Story. That's what they do, they take ink
stamps and stamp the entire house. They take your wallet and 'play'
with your debit card. They put their own lotion on (if you for get to
pick up the butt cream before nap time) thinking their butt paste is
lotion. This has happened twice to me, once with Vaseline, the second
with Desitin. There s no book for this! I have found a movie, you've
seen it, it's called The Omen (Damien)! But now there's a collection of true
stories. 30 brave bloggers have shared their stories, their
encounters with the Shorter Kind...
☠
Do not read this book if you are on your first pregnancy. I'm afraid
you might just duct tape your legs together to delay the inevitable.
Do not read this book if you are 'blissed' out and are planning for
your first baby. It might send you running to the hills in sheer
terror.
☠ Do
read this if you haven't showered in two days. You have dried toddler
munchies attached to your ass and something that possibly resembles
poop encrusted in your wedding ring. Did you just look at your ring?
I took a close look at mine the other day. Its still in a ring bath.
☠ Do
give this to your tween or teen. The best dose of reality you can
give her. Because you know she won't hear it coming from you! Did you
really listen to your mom, without rolling your eyes?
This collection of horror, and humor
rivals anything that Steven King ever wrote. Poop and walks of shame,
yup that's mother hood alright. And it's hilarious. Enter the Mommy
Meltdown. Funny, yes down right funny... like in hind sight.
Even MORE funny when it's not YOU too. That's why this collection
from 30 Mommy bloggers was my therapy. I laughed and cried.
I feel like I had over two dozen new
sisters to share my war wounds with. Two dozen sisters to help heal
my battle scars. 30 stories to help remind you that you're doing OK
and you're right, and wrong. What, what!? It's great to know
that the grass is not greener on the other side of the
parenting fence. You are not wrong for choosing your parenting style.
Because the Dr. Spock mommy, the cry it out mommy, the co-sleeper
mommy, they are having a shitty day just like you.☺
We have to remember our sweet little
darlings are really just magical creatures monsters. When tempted
by (invisible to us) magical forces they turn into little ranting
monsters. They ooze, leak, spit, bite and howl like wolves. No
book covers this. Nope I checked. Well unless you count an
exorcism. The best we can do is muster through, meltdown, make a
comeback and share. We no longer live in a village of women to help
each other. But with little books like this we can create one through
our 'social media/blogger mommy village'. Where again like the past,
to help one another out. Then be there to laugh at one another (later
of course).
☠
Next book I think, training for
husbands during the throws of a meltdown? Because how dare the
respond to frantic calls, and texts for help while deep in the throws
of a meltdown with “I'm Sorry.” Damn them all! ☺
☠
“After I finished telling my story
Hubby calmly said, “And how do you feel now? Better?” Clearly he
was not listening at all. “
-”The Backpack that Broke the Mama’s
Back” By Angela Keck, Writer Mom’s Blog